The Break Up

The End

Or the start of a beginning? We had a nasty fight last night. There was lots of yelling. On my part at least. She was crying trying to hug me. We were laying in bed. In a house that I had bought for the two of us to share and grow a family with one day.

In the end I told her that I had hated what I had become. Earlier in the year I was the epitome of how a normal guy with a great job, and a great girlfriend would be: Top of the world, self esteem through the roof and the paranoia of Switzerland.

After finding out that this woman I had fought with last night had cheated on me, I had become a brooding, paranoid, jealous bastard. And I hated it. I was never like this. But now, everything she said was scrutinized and as such developed into quarrels much like the one we had last night. This fight was different though. I had had enough. I pushed away her attempts to hug me, her “I’m sorry”s buffetted against a wall that I had been building up. Only her tears and upside down smile melted my heart, but I was able to turn away and just close my eyes.

The night ended with: “Please leave your keys on my desk tomorrow”.

I sit here now looking at my mousepad, having just gotten back from walking the dogs. My heart aches. Everything around me reminds me of her. I want to run away.