The Break Up

50% Chance

So a bunch of my friends, God bless their souls took me out last night. I knew that they had collectively come together to get me out of the house and back out into the world because a) 2 of them never went out on Thursday nights and b) they hated lounge/club places.

The night started out well enough, and when the waitress came around to get our drinks, everyone ordered the usual, Johnny Walker Black or Jameson on the rocks. I ordered the very unusual: water. One of my friends looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I simply replied, “Drink when you are happy, don’t drink when you are down.”

This lead to a discussion of when its ok to drink. I have always held to the belief that ultimately, alcohol amplifies whatever mood you’re in. You start drinking happy, you get drunk happy. You start drinking mad, you get drunk.. mad? Anyway, you get my point. So in the interest of not turning into a crying bumbling idiot I opted to drink water. One of my friends then said, “Well, really, alcohol does amplify your mood, but it can also alter it. It’s almost like a 50% chance. You’ll either be really happy, or just fucking devastated.” He raised his eyebrow again and add, “Those are pretty good odds.”

5 minutes later, I was drinking Jameson on the rocks.

I came to realize 2 things, as the night progressed. 1) There were a lot of underage girls in this bar (yikes, not a fan simply because at my age, one’s gotta draw the line somewhere right?), and 2) I simply just had forgotten “game” or the art of talking to women.

As the night continued, more Jameson flowed into my hands and into my mouth and up into my brain. The great thing is, well, I landed that 50% and I WAS happy. In the back of my mind I knew that she had flown out last night and was probably laying in bed with this guy, but seriously, at this point, what can I do? She had chosen her bed so to speak.

Towards the end of the night, I noticed that there was this black girl that had been giving me the “eye” and the come hither smile, but I’ll admit, I was effing intimidated. She looked a lot like Alicia Keys, but maybe not as amazing. I kept passing her on the way to the bathroom and would nonchalantly pass by kicking myself because I had no words to say. Not even “Hey.”

The same friend who had given me my first drink earlier then pointed out a gaggle of girls, 5 of them to be exact, all dancing and having a great time. There was a amazing red head in the group and she seemed to be the mother hen of the group. I literally went back and forth in my head trying to figure out what to say, how to act. Finally it seemed like they were leaving and in an act of desperation I said, “Hey you’re not leaving are you?” She kind of nodded and said they were going to sit down. Yay, I look like a retard i thought. She smiled though and they sat down. My buddy gave me a pump fist and mouthed, “That’s a start”. Yeah… I guess.

Then, the night got crazier. She came back with her friend and they started talking to us and after some talking I managed to wrangle from her her number. No small feat in itself because I’ll be honest, I’m an average looking guy I suppose, and this girl was way prettier than I thought she was. I still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty but I soldiered on. While talking to redhead I noticed the Alicia Keys lookalike giving me the evil eye. Ouch. The redhead and her group then had to leave to go grab some food so I gave her a hug and she was on her way.

While waiting for my ride (a buddy of mine who had set this whole thing up) as he tried to some girl he had been seeing to come home with him, I noticed that AKL (Alicia Keys Lookalike) was by the door of the bar. Always a champion of originality I walked up to her and said, “Hey you’re not leaving yet are you?” She turned around smiled and said that they were and they were heading to a club called xxxxxx. Yikes. It was a Thursday night and I still had to work in the morning. I told her we’d try to make it and she gave me her number… Not bad I suppose.

We ended up eating at an amazing Mexican restaurant we had eaten at during what we termed “The Summer of Love”. A time period where all of the guys in the group were neither dating nor married. We had all just recently gotten jobs and we went out literally from Thursday through Saturday. How unfunny how things have come full circle.

Ended the night by texting the two girls (who probably will never call me back, but hey I’ll take it), and walking my dogs.